By Manjit Kaur | Opinion |
In recent years, I have noticed that some Sikhs, both young and old, become very sentimental about the past, as if life then was perfect and life today is terrible. In Gurdwaras, we hear parcharaks (preachers) spinning all kinds of tales about ‘puratan’ or ‘old times’. By romanticising the past, they give the impression that society today is morally corrupt and all we can do is live separate lives in our own ‘jathas’ and ‘deras’.
This backwards-looking thinking is not helpful. I see the past as a treasure chest full of memories and lessons to be used in the present. It’s like a book that tells us where we come from and how our lives and culture have evolved, how we have got to where we are. So, whilst I appreciate the importance of past memories and stories, both collective and personal, these must be seen as a map that helps us understand who we are today and what we might want to become tomorrow.
But sadly, for complex reasons, some of us become trapped in the past. Yes, we must from time to time visit the past and learn from the lives and wisdom of our ancestors, but we can’t set up camp there. And just like them, we need to make our mark in the present. It’s like taking a road trip – you can stop at interesting places along the way, but you don’t stay there; you keep moving forward! Life is like a journey or perhaps a river, and we must keep moving otherwise we start to stagnate.
The sad reality is that sometimes we get so caught up in the past, that we forget the challenges of the present. Romancing about the past can create powerful emotions. It can be like a warm, fuzzy comfort blanket that wraps us up in happy memories. We might think about how much fun we had when we were kids or how great things used to be. But remember romancing the past can also be like quicksand. If we sink too deep into it, we might start ignoring the challenges and opportunities of the present. Worst still, only looking to the past might reveal psychological problems with facing the present life and the challenges it poses.
Think about it this way: Have you ever been so lost in a daydream that you missed something important happening around you? That’s a bit like what can happen when we focus too much on the past. At best we might miss out on new ideas and thoughts, and at worst we may isolate ourselves from society, something that is totally against the teachings of Sikhi.
In truth, even those “good old days” we sometimes daydream about, were not all that good; the people then had their own sets of problems, and you can be sure they too would have dreamt about the past as a way of denying the challenges of their present. Every generation has its good and bad bits. If I think about the society of my parents in Punjab, this was full of sad and happy times, but we tend to edit out the bad bits.
As we grow older, we might start thinking that things were better in our time compared to how they are now. But that’s not always true. Change is a part of life, and it’s natural for different generations to have their unique challenges and opportunities. Our Gurus remind us to be brave and face today’s challenges head-on. Indeed, by not looking backwards too much and facing the present we follow in the footsteps of the Gurus, who questioned almost every aspect of society in their time, including many pointless rituals, traditions and beliefs.
Now, let’s talk about change and why some of us resist it. Change can be as simple as trying a new dish, or more profoundly moving into a new house, a new city or even a new country! It’s exciting, but it can also be scary because it’s different from what we’re used to. Some of us prefer the familiar tastes we’ve always had. But guess what? Trying new dishes can be amazing too! It’s the same with ideas and practices. Indeed, to live is to change, to grow, to travel, to explore and to engage with society, just like our Gurus did.
Instead of resisting change or criticising the younger generation, we should embrace new ideas and try to understand their perspective. We all have a unique perspective of the World, shaped by our experiences, and that’s perfectly okay. Our gurus encouraged us to be strong, adapt to the world around us, and make the most of it. Imagine life as a staircase. Each step forward might seem a bit scary at first, but it’s the only way to reach new heights. Stepping backwards won’t get us anywhere; it just keeps us stuck in one place.
Overly fixating on the past can undermine your sense of belonging and connection to the present society. The past is a great teacher, but it’s the present that we live in. Our Gurus guided us to be brave and embrace the challenges wherever we are in the world. As Sikhs, we know from our history we have suffered much and continue to suffer today but we should not allow ourselves to be victims; we are survivors and thrivers and we will work together with anybody in any place to look forward and to make the world a better place for ourselves and humanity.
Manjit Kaur, a UK-based therapist and counsellor, is a presenter at the 1 Show Live at Panjab Broadcasting Channel, UK. She can be contacted via email at manjitkaur1show@gmail.com
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