A new chapter of my life away from home

By Gurvinderjit Kaur | Malaysia |

16 September 2022. This was the day I left Malaysia; my home, to travel to the United Kingdom to further my studies. It was filled with a rollercoaster of emotions and a memory that will stay with me for a very long time.

I can still picture the whole scene of me leaving my home on that day – from me laughing and singing with my sister; to giving her and my mum the tightest hugs ever. I was really lucky that my dad was going to be travelling with me to the UK because I knew that I needed some support for the first couple of days.

I remember as I sat in the plane, emotions gushed through my mind like a waterfall and one of the first things I thought about was “Oh my God, I’m leaving Malaysia and going to a foreign country that is so far away. Can I even do this? Can I live without my family?”

In order to settle in nicely, here are a couple of things that I did which were helpful:

Mental preparation: I tried to mentally prepare myself by researching and finding information on what to expect in a different country and how it would be like socially, weather conditions, so on. I also spoke to a number of family friends and received input from cousins and friends who are in the UK. They gave me a sense of assurance that someone is there if I need any assistance.

Planning: This was one very important thing that was of great help. I made checklists on what I should buy when in the UK, what I should buy and take from Malaysia, and what online purchases I needed to make if I wanted to deliver things to Cardiff straight away. I also planned out with my parents my monthly budget as it lets me gauge how much I plan to spend per month, and ensuring a little bit of savings are available for those short getaways!

Management: Since the age of 16, I took charge of managing the house with my sister when my parents were away for holidays. With no maid at home, I had to manage doing housekeeping and cooking with my sister. This really inculcated a sense of responsibility in me, and it helped with my time management and being able to multitask between my work and chores.

Culture: This is something that is so crucial, and it is so important to have that connection with Waheguru. I try to go to the Gurdwara every Sunday, and it is just so peaceful, calm, and serene every time I go there. Listening to kirtan and the katha makes me feel at ease and it really helps me through bad days. I made sure to get the gutka (prayer book) from the Gurdwara to keep with me so I can do prayers and just do Simran every morning. It just enforces the idea in me that Waheguru is with me at all times and that he is in me, so I know I’m never alone.

After my dad left, it dawned on me that I was alone in this country. All by myself. There is no ‘papa’ and ‘mummy’ living nearby to come help their daughter if she was in any trouble. I slowly started to digest things and I said to myself that “Okay, Gurvin, you’re on your own now. You have to do everything by yourself, and you need to make your own life here in Cardiff. You’re bound to feel scared and frightened and anxious and a whole mix of feelings, but at the end of the day you know you’re here with a purpose and that is to complete your law degree with flying colours. That should give you the drive to move forward and never give up.”

Yes, I talked a lot to myself. I guess I finally started to recall all those pep talks my parents used to give me and remember the pearls of advice I should extract from them!

As I sit in my room writing this on a cold and rainy November night, I realize that it’s my second month living alone here in Cardiff and being an independent 19-year-old. I know I have it in me to survive and I know I just need to motor on and believe in myself. I am still nervous and scared, but one thing that motivates me is what my dad wrote in a card he gave me before he left Cardiff:

“We now leave you to chart this journey to making yourself. It will be exciting, anxious, terrifying, satisfying, fulfilling, bruising, nurturing, humbling… it will be an education. Enjoy your stint, enjoy university life, and expand your horizons because the sky is the limit!”

Oh, the wise words of my old man! Here’s to staying sane and adding more chapters to my life away from home.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Gurvinderjit Kaur, 19, is from Petaling Jaya, Malaysia. After two years studying law at a private university in Malaysia, she is now in the final year at the Cardiff University. At our request, she expanded a note she shared on her social media. It may be helpful to fellow student going abroad.

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