By Jagdesh Singh | Opinion |
“Papa, you’re funny lah but sooooo annoying”. This came out of nowhere from my youngest, now finally passing the threshold of being a teenager. It’s still a shock to me how her personality has changed overnight as if a switch flipped. Maybe because she’s the youngest, and the one we treated more the baby of the family with a six year gap in between her and her elder sister.
Her comment is part of that personality change, her being more vocal about her thoughts and ideas. Whether by design or not, all three daughters developed that sense of speaking their mind (loudly, I may add) albeit hers came a little later than her elder sisters.
She’s also developing the unladylike use of street language (read vulgar language to many of my peers) that I’ve never discouraged because I believe in treating such language part of our daily vocabulary. Conversations can be a tad spicy and funny, especially mixed with a good dose of sarcasm. While this is in English, I take inspiration from the hilarious gutter Punjabi I’ve heard all my life. Sarcasm is just part of our DNA. Her elder sisters are no different and we’ve had our fair share of cursing matches with both.
Of course, we’re also training her to be sensitive with the audience around her. Respect and decorum is still an absolute requirement when conversing with people outside of her circle of comfort. Teachers, coaches, parents of friends, etc. demand her respect and the proper way of talking.
What we really want out of these girls are honesty and sincerity when sharing their thoughts, more so with their parents. Experience have loudly indicated to her elder sisters that hiding what is going on with their lives from their parents didn’t exactly make their lives easier but messier. Sharing their ideas, their happiness, their sadness, their fears, their embarrassing actions with me and their mother is now more habitual. We both are very grateful for this.
I know I’m fooling myself if I believe there are no secrets left to be told. Some secrets are still kept within their hearts, I’m sure, because there is the right time to share them and that time perhaps has yet to arrive. But I take comfort that I’ve been there to console and to celebrate so many of their sharings, even more for the elder ones who have embarked on their adult journeys in faraway lands. Thank the Gods for technology.
I do wish, hope and pray that this habit of theirs remain all my life. I’ve had moments where pride swelled up considerably after each of my daughters have told me they love that we can speak about anything under the sun with me, and their mother.
I’ve read somewhere that the biggest wealth a man could wish for is for his children to want to come home every single chance they get. I somewhat agree with this wholeheartedly because I’ve felt immense pride when my girls reach out to me to just talk. Even though I’m that annoying father that makes Dad jokes all the time.
Jagdesh Singh, a Kuala Lumpur-based executive with a US multinational company, is a father of three girls who are as opinionated as their mother
* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.
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