By Gurdeep Kaur | Life Experience |
Mother was only seven when she lost her mother. Mother, her older brother and a younger sister were then cared for by their paternal grandmother whilst their father went out into the fields harvesting wheat in a small plot of land they owned. Both father and grandmother were very tender-in their love for the three siblings but due to circumstances, Mother and her sister had to dropout in primary in order for their brother to continue.
Mother was 16 when her grandmother passed away. Grandmother meant the world to Mother and her demise left Mother with a deep void. Grandmother already had the younger sister wedded. As was the norm back then, girls were wedded at a very young age. Grandmother, however, had greater plans for Mother which unfortunately were left unfulfilled due to her demise.
Mother and her siblings were endowed with beauty, inherited from beautiful parents, but Mother had something extraordinary and grandmother saw that from the very beginning. Mother possessed-a pure heart and grandmother was all the more concerned.
Upon completion of his education in Sikh theology in Delhi, the brother took the responsibility of finding Mother a suitable match.The plan was for Mother to be married and reside in Delhi but somehow with the twist of fate, the brother was approached by matchmakers who were looking for a bride for someone from Malaysia.
Mother was 19 years old when she arrived on the shores of Penang on her own by ship. Mother was met by the local matchmaker who incidentally was her future sister-in-law. She took Mother to stay in her house till the wedding. Mother was feeling terribly homesick, lost, frightened and fatigued.
Mother soon learnt that she was betrothed to a widower with six children who ranged from six months to 12 years (five girls and a boy). Mother felt betrayed and cheated but was too afraid to question anyone and instead kept her sorrow to herself. As the days went by, Mother regained her strength and with that strength came perseverance and grit. Mother decided to make the best of the situation she was in.
After the wedding, the first task Mother assigned to herself was to take the older children out from boarding. The boarding was in a convent school close to the house. Mother wasted no time in putting her skills into good use. Mother was raised in Punjab, trained to be skillful in cooking, knitting, cleaning and even plastering walls. The children’s heads were infested with lice and Mother got rid of them. They were looking famished and Mother churned out Punjabi desi mouth-watering dishes. Mother even made time to knit cardigans for her step-children to shield them from the cold.
Mother’s food was indeed the talk of the town. Her chapatti’s and parathas were just so different. Her saag, kheer, bhaji and shola were out of this world. Best of all Mother was so clean and hygienic, scrubbing pots and pans till they shone and endlessly toiling doing household chores.
A decade later, Mother bore her own children, two boys and two girls (Manmeet, Partap, late Jaswant and me, Gurdeep) after three miscarriages.
Years of slogging and toiling eventually took its toll on Mother’s health. The sacrifices Mother made in providing a safe, clean and loving home for her step-children at the expanse of her youth, beauty and health is astounding and best of all Mother did all of these ever so graciously.
Everywhere Mother went, she spread love and generosity. Mother gave-alms to the needy secretly and chose to alight from the rickshaw when riding along a slope and even bought drinks for the rickshaw puller along the way. Mother never turned a beggar away and always insisted in feeding the ones that turn up at her doorstep with nutritious meals and also providing them with cardigans to shield them from the cold. Mother treated everyone with love and compassion and showed no discrimination.
Mother was in her late forties when she lost both her sister and father within a span of two years. Mother was broken hearted and mourned for months. Just when Mother began to accept her loss, tragedy strikes again!
A year later Mother loses another loved one, her precious younger son. Jaswant was 20. For 10 years despite struggling to live with his loss, Mother persevered for us three and continued being a devoted Mother till her end. Mother never waivered in her prayers and regularly spent most weekday afternoons in the Gurdwara Sahib Melaka praying and doing sewa despite her frail health. Mother had fallen critically ill all of a sudden and two days later breathed her last. It was the eve of Jaswant’s birthday.
It’s been 37 years since Mother’s passing. Mother was 60. Today, I at 64 years of age still hold unshakeable, undying love, admiration and reverence towards Mother. Mother has and will always remain everything to me. The selfless acts of Mother are indeed a force to be reckoned with. To Mother with LOVE.
RELATED STORY:
Sikh migration to Peninsular Malaysia – Part 1 (Asia Samachar, 10 June 2017)
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