By Manjit Kaur | Opinion |
The picture below on the left is of the Juliette balcony in the Italian City of Verona which is the setting of William Shakespeares famous play about the lovers, Romeo and Juliette. The other picture is of me and the love of my life, Gurnam Singh during a visit to that very same place in Verona a few years ago.
February 14th is internationally recognised as “Valentine’s Day’, or a day in the year when lovers show their affection for their partners. Interestingly, images of romantic gestures are far removed from the origins of this day, which can be traced back to ancient Rome and the festival of Lupercalia. Celebrated every year on February 14th, this was a fertility festival filled with playful rituals not dissimilar to the Indian Holi festival.
Initially, Valentine’s Day focused on love notes and handwritten poems exchanged secretly by young couples, and it was in the 18th century that we saw commercial aspects through printed Valentine’s cards. And by the 20th Century, like the Christmas festival, it became a whole industry. Today Valentine’s Day is fuelled by societal expectations and targeted marketing that compels people to part with their hard-earned cash that generates billions of pounds for many companies. While expressions of love are still cherished, the emphasis has shifted towards material gestures.
While Valentine’s Day paints a picture of love with grand gestures, for me, from a Sikh perspective, true love transcends the confines of a single day. According to the teachings of Gurbani, love is a continuous commitment, woven into the fabric of daily interactions with everyone and everything. In short, love cannot be limited to any one relationship.
The core of Sikh love lies in seva or selfless service. It’s not about waiting for a special day to make grand gestures but seeing each day as an opportunity to show compassion and care towards loved ones, especially in their moments of need. Being present, offering a listening ear, and extending support through life’s challenges become expressions of love that go far deeper than extravagant gestures and expensive gifts.
Love, from a Sikh perspective, reaches far beyond the materialism that we see with Valentine’s Day celebrations. The true value of love doesn’t lie in the price tag of a gift or the exclusivity of a restaurant reservation. A handwritten note expressing appreciation, a helping hand with a difficult task, or simply being present during a difficult conversation – these become the true expressions of love that leave a lasting impact.
While marriage and partnerships are held sacred in Sikhi, they are not the sole definition of love. This love stretches outwards to encompass families, friends, communities, and indeed, even strangers in need. Recognizing the inherent divinity in every being fosters a sense of compassion and respect that guides our interactions, reminding us that love is not an exclusive feeling reserved for a chosen few.
In an era of increasing independence and choices, Sikhism offers a unique perspective on freedom. True freedom, it suggests, lies not just in individual pursuits, but in the conscious choice to use our freedom to love and serve others. By making choices that benefit not only our well-being but also contribute to the happiness and growth of those around us, we experience a deeper sense of fulfilment and connection. And when disagreements arise, our ego will fan the flames of hate and, like the cooling effects of water, it is love that can put out the fire of rage. Love has great healing powers; it can mend deep divisions between couples, families and even nations.
True love, as envisioned by Sikhi, is not confined to a single day. It’s a continuous journey of service, understanding, and compassion woven into the fabric of our daily lives. Let’s celebrate this love by nurturing it every day, extending it beyond ourselves, and recognizing the inherent beauty and worth within every individual we encounter. This is the true essence of love that transcends any calendar date. And when we develop this kind of love, then, as Guru Gobind Singh ji states, we become one with the divine.
ਸਾਚੁ ਕਹੋਂ ਸੁਨ ਲੇਹੁ ਸਭੈ ਜਿਨ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਕੀਓ ਤਿਨ ਹੀ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਪਾਇਓ ॥੯॥
Sach kahon sun leho sabai jin prem kio tin hee prabh paio.
I tell the truth; listen everyone. Only those who have Loved, will realize the Divine being.
Manjit Kaur, a UK-based therapist and counsellor, is a presenter at the 1 Show Live at Panjab Broadcasting Channel, UK. She can be contacted via email at manjitkaur1show@gmail.com
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