Talk to your girls

You must’ve been shipwrecked somewhere for years to not know Father. Everybody knew him. Not just because he was such a likeable person, but because he genuinely was a true servant, ever sincere in his motivations for the Panth and for Sabha. - JAGDESH SINGH

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Jagdesh (left) and Jasbir on one of their lunch outings. Left: A lovely sketch of Jasbir Singh by ToonistBains

By Jagdesh Singh | Opinion |

When a close friend departs from his life on this earth, especially in a very unexpected and shocking manner, you tend to recall the times together. It’s a very natural reaction. When I got the news that Dr. Jasbir Singh had passed away early Friday morning, I didn’t have this reaction because I was still suspended in disbelief. Only after visiting his beloved wife later in the day that it dawned very heavily into my mind.

Being a mainstay in everything Sikh Naujawan Sabha Malaysia (SNSM) does, it’s not easy to avoid this man and his service. You must’ve been shipwrecked somewhere for years to not know Father. Everybody knew him. Not just because he was such a likeable person, but because he genuinely was a true servant, ever sincere in his motivations for the Panth and for Sabha.

We’ve had so many lunches together, by virtue of being in the city centre of Kuala Lumpur, where ribbing each other was par for the course. I mean we could get really out of hand giving each other a hard time, making fun of each other like teenagers. All while having our favourite Roti and then cha. If not that, we would gossip like old housewives about the odd scandal going on, just for the fun of it.

It was also during these conversations that I would get golden nuggets of advice about the upbringing of my children, and how I should be caring for them. He gave me these nuggets out of his own experience of bringing up such outstanding children of his own. So, it wasn’t fluff or just academic. It was practical because he himself practised what he preached.

One of these nuggets that I can share with you is this – “Have conversations with your children constantly. When you do it often, even your lectures will be like conversations that your children will accept.” I can vouch that this is true and is very applicable for me personally. Even though I think I raise my voice much far more often than Father ever did with his kids. He was gentler and kinder, but the premise remains the same and his advice was most useful for me throughout the years.

When they were babies, especially my youngest, he would swoop in from some corner of my eyes, pick her up and walk away comfortably, with both laughing happily. Young children gravitated toward him, and he loved them all just like his own. Even at that age, he would have conversations with them. They’d chat about something nonsensical, but there was conversation.

But it wasn’t just his affinity with children whom he knew personally, Father was genuinely always thinking about our community’s youth. He was constantly pushing through his ideas about giving the best for the youth to grow and to be the best of their potential. Just like how he and his wife had brought up such beautiful caring Sikhs and outstanding citizens, Father had an innate sense and belief that every child and teenager in our community can be and should be beautiful caring Sikhs and leaders of the community in their own right.

Even while chewing a morsel of the roti during lunch, we would discuss ways to engage with the youth, through camps and through programs that he was constantly planning for. Enkaurage and RiSingh are two brainchildren of Father’s, amongst many other ideas and programs he personally drove himself.

These are the conversations that have been streaming in my mind over the past couple of days after receiving the devastating news. My memories of him will be of these lunches, and of the jokes we would make of each other whenever we met. Even during Samelans, we would meet during our meals and the making fun of each other never subsided while passionately talking about the participants and the youth. The roti won’t taste as good as it used to, Father. When we do meet again, I’ll still give you a hard time lah, old man.

Jagdesh Singh, a Kuala Lumpur-based executive with a US multinational company, is a father of three girls who are as opinionated as their mother

* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.

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ASIA SAMACHAR is an online newspaper for Sikhs / Punjabis in Southeast Asia and beyond. You can leave your comments at our website, FacebookTwitter, and Instagram. We will delete comments we deem offensive or potentially libelous. You can reach us via WhatsApp +6017-335-1399 or email: asia.samachar@gmail.com. For obituary announcements, click here

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