By Jagdesh Singh | Opinion |
My white beard deceives everyone. It’s not even salt and pepper like, it’s completely white now. In fact, I’ve been mistaken for a grandad when picking up my youngest daughter at her school and some have called my lovely wife my eldest daughter as we stood side by side. To say that this makes me feel old is a bloody understatement. Younger football players on the field and even referees started calling me ‘Uncle’ years before eventhough they were 7 or 8 years younger than me. Alas, I’m a big believer of growing old gracefully. Hence, I have no intention of dying my unshorn beard any other colour than its natural one.
But to say I’m old is also not entirely true. It’s subjective. I’m half a century old this year but that’s not considered old for many of my Gen X compatriots. We strongly believe we’re still young enough not be called ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’ just yet. We’re fine with ‘Bro’ or ‘Sis’. Of course it would be utterly weird and cringey if my daughters’ friends call me ‘Bro’. I’m also glad my young adult daughters don’t think of me and my better half as being ancient. At least we know we’re not out-of-touch parents, me and my wife. This belief that we’re still relevant and can relate to their current struggles and concerns is held very dearly by the both of us. Whether this belief is entirely a fact or just the impression we’ve been given cleverly by our daughters, I’d rather not argue about that with myself. I’ll just assume the best of intentions for now.
As a younger volunteer for Sikh Naujawan Sabha Malaysia (SNSM) many moons back, around my late thirties, I’ve always had the perception that the leadership team looked a little older than the typical ‘naujawan’ (youth). They did seem old to me, even though they were probably 10 to 15 years older than me. I’ve questioned quietly if these older leaders could relate to the challenges, the needs and the wants of the youth that they were representing at the time. While those questions swirled around in conversations with other volunteers and friends during our ‘cha’ sessions, there was also the very strong silent acknowledgement that we were in good steady hands. The faces of these leaders have been around even before when we became volunteers. They’ve been there, and done most if not all. The familiarity of their presence helped to mask their biasness towards the older proven ideas of running an organization like Sabha.
Fresh ideas, keeping up with technology and in the later stages keeping up with social media, were apparent challenges for these ‘older’ leaders. But the seva for the Guru continued, so did the work required for Sabha to deliver its agenda of promoting the fundamentals of Sikhism and the Sikh lifestyle. Crises have come and gone with the leaders having managed to resolve and move on, most of the time through political manoeuvring and negotiations internally. But the seva and work continued as always. Our ideas evolved slowly and according to the leaders at helm, but never at the cost of Sabha having any identity crisis of sorts.
Today, my perspectives as a volunteer have also evolved according to my creeping age. Even though I don’t consider myself ’old’, I’m aware I’ve fallen into the same category of an ‘elder’ that I had branded the leaders of the past before. I’m now of the similar age as those that I had questioned about their relevance before. Do I consider myself out of touch? My pride and ego happen to wholeheartedly disagree.
“Of course I understand what the naujawan are thinking about!”, screams my mind.
Much like how I really believe that I’m relevant and can relate to my young adult daughters, I draw my affirmations steadfastly. Whether this is a shared belief with the actual naujawan of Sabha whom I interact with during the annual Samelans, that is a valid question that I would need to survey with them and verify.
At this age, I also still believe that I can contribute in different ways, much like the steady hands that the elders provided in the past. I am confident I share this belief with my volunteer friends of the same age group. We’re more jaded, more matured, of lesser tempers, and we can share advice from our own mistakes made when we were younger.
One facet of being the elder steady hand is being the historian or at least giving historical context and background to why we do things the way we do it. Sabha is an organization that has been around for many decades, with some sevadars and volunteers who are already great-grandparents to the naujawan today. Sabha has gone through turmoil over the many years and over the many generations of leaders but have stayed true, in my opinion, to our identity and our mission. There’s a rich tapestry of history that needs to be learned from. It’s cliched but we do repeat our mistakes over the many years because we somehow never learn from our history. There needs to be a good balance of invigorating youth and matured patience, between the naujawan and the elders for us to carry on the good work of the past while forging our future. Whoever our leaders are going to be, I’m very confident all sevadars of all ages will still contribute our sweat and tears. After all, our Seva is for the Guru and for the success of Sabha, more than for any personality.
Much like me trying to come to terms about my age but yet still wanting to remain youthful, Sabha would need to strike that balance.
Jagdesh Singh, a Kuala Lumpur-based executive with a US multinational company, is a father of three girls who are as opinionated as their mother
* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.
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