LETTER TO THE EDITOR
By Anonymous Singh | Opinion |
This article hits the mark on how weddings have become heavy burdens on families, especially mothers. Reading your observations takes me back 38 years to my own wedding.
My wife and I came from middle-class families. We chose a path that was completely stress-free for both sides, with no financial or logistical burden, etc., on anyone. Ours was perhaps the simplest Gurmat-based wedding in Malaysia at the time.
While Sikh weddings back then were already expensive and elaborate affairs, we stripped everything down strictly to what was essential, and the whole affair was held only inside the Gurdwara Sahib itself. The only thing done at home prior to the wedding day was a Kirtan session by family and close friends. To give some perspective, I even typed a half-page invitation on A4 paper at home on my typewriter and made black-and-white photocopies for five sen each, sending them only to immediate family and close friends.
Our relatives were thoroughly bewildered and annoyed. I received a lot of criticism from them after the wedding, as there were no pre-wedding rituals, no wedding entertainment, no alcohol, and no reception dinners, etc., as they had always witnessed prior to my wedding.
We never even had an engagement ceremony in the Gurdwara before the wedding, only a private Ardas with parents from both sides. For my relatives, it felt like attending a regular Jodh Mela rather than a wedding, as they only experienced Kirtan, Anand Karaj, and Guru ka Langar, and that’s it. We didn’t even allow the “Sagan” ceremony after the Lavaan or even in the house, but of course, ladoos were given free of charge to the Sangat. The wedding baraat partook of the same langar prepared for the Sangat, and that was it. The baraat left by 2.30 pm.
Many relatives were unhappy with our decision at the time, but both mothers smiled without carrying an ounce of hidden stress, debt, or exhaustion. Simple living according to Gurmat brings true peace to a family, especially when it comes to weddings.
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The hidden stress behind the smiles at Sikh weddings (Asia Samachar, 25 Oct 2026)
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