I recently lost my dad, witnessing his very last breath before my eyes – that shattering moment remains fresh within sight. It feels surreal, that he is no more – my greatest confidante, critic and companion.
The demise of my late father is an unbearable loss, and this father’s day; the glaring reality is hard hit. Nevertheless, it is with great pride that I contemplate upon his legacy, one that is filled with rigour, integrity, kindness and hard-work. Especially that fighting spirit, laced with humility.
This Father’s Day I am reminded once again that every day was in actual fact Father’s Day. What more for a daughter, whose first hero and pride is often her father.
In my case, my one and only superhero –who left me to dance in the dark except with your endearing lessons to hold dear. The truth is that I daren’t even recall our fondest memories and since his demise, haven’t been able to recollect any strength to rummage our memoirs of memories.
And on this very day, I realised how lonely I have become – even in the middle of much excitement and noise. For the life of me, I discussed the smallest of decisions with my father and that included the type of delivery I wanted and where I wished to deliver my very first child! And now, despite being amidst people, there is hardly someone with whom I could speak at the same length without fears of judgement.
On the subject of life, it is surely discussed widely and undeniably, I am one of the many who often opt for a book by authors such as Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyner and Ekhart Tolle. Well, your loss has been an experience like no other, something these books haven’t though me. Either life has changed dramatically, or I have just been exposed to reality check! Needless to say, it hasn’t been an easy lesson. Funny how each instance is associated to our loved ones, those who are no more. This father’s day, what I miss the most is my late father!
I take solace that I was blessed with an amazing man as a father, whose faith in me is a responsibility that transcends his time with me. Perhaps for me, I grapple his loss by telling myself, he is now my angel; looking out for me from wherever he is. And yes, I will still honor Father’s Day everyday because it is time for me to cherish the life he has given me and the values he raised me with. Thank you for a fabulous upbringing, giving me an equal platform as by brothers to live and explore the best of life. Always, strongly advocating that education is an imperative regardless of gender and that there is nothing women cannot achieve!
This father’s day is different. It is about truly realising that a father is not just a person in our lives or another family member– instead he is the very man who will fight all odds just for his kids, in the case of my father – for his one and only granddaughter too! We love you, and always will. Happy Father’s Day Dad!
* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.
Missing you, Dad (Asia Samachar, 16 June 2019)
Girl, So What? (Asia Samachar, 15 Nov 2017)