By Pola Singh | Experience |
I recently celebrated my 77th birthday. As I reflected on the journey so far, I realised that growing older is not something to fear but something to be thankful for. Every birthday is a blessing that many never have the opportunity to celebrate. It reminds us that each additional year is another chance to love more deeply, serve more willingly, learn continuously and appreciate life’s countless blessings.
People often ask me what the secret is to ageing well. I tell them there is no secret. There is no magic formula or miracle cure.
For me, it has simply been about making life happen rather than waiting for life to happen. Opportunities seldom knock on our door. More often, we have to build the door ourselves. Looking back, I have learnt that many of life’s greatest rewards came not through luck but through discipline, perseverance and patience.
I have always believed in delayed gratification rather than instant gratification. Whether in education, career, health or relationships, worthwhile achievements take time. Success built patiently on strong values lasts much longer than success achieved through shortcuts.
My own journey began in humble surroundings in Kampung Air Leleh, Melaka. My late mother, Ram Kaur, believed passionately that education was the only path that could lift her ten children out of poverty. She constantly reminded us that while wealth could be lost, knowledge was something no one could ever take away.
Her faith and sacrifices transformed our lives.
Years later, I earned a PhD in Marketing from the University of Alabama in the United States. But that qualification has never been the achievement I treasure most. It simply reminds me that our circumstances at birth need not determine our future. With determination, hard work and the encouragement of others, seemingly impossible dreams can become reality.
As I have grown older, I have come to appreciate that peace of mind is perhaps life’s greatest blessing. It is far more valuable than wealth, status or recognition.
I have learnt to forgive rather than hold grudges. I try to forget yesterday’s hurts instead of reliving them. Anger, bitterness and revenge rarely punish the other person. More often, they punish us by stealing today’s happiness. Choosing peace over resentment has made my life lighter and happier.
Ageing has also taught me the importance of looking after ourselves—not out of vanity, but out of gratitude. I try to eat sensibly, exercise regularly, spend time with good friends, laugh often and never underestimate the healing power of a genuine smile.
One lesson has become increasingly important as I grow older: never take life for granted.
Most of us wake up each morning expecting that we will be able to see, hear, walk, taste our food, swallow without difficulty and carry out life’s simplest daily routines. We seldom pause to appreciate these ordinary abilities because they have always been there.
Yet many people lose one or more of these precious gifts through illness, disability or advancing age.
The ability to walk independently, to hear the laughter of our grandchildren, to enjoy the beauty of nature, to savour our favourite meal, to eat without discomfort and even to go to the toilet without assistance are priceless blessings. They may seem ordinary, but they are extraordinary gifts. We usually appreciate them only after they have been taken away.
That is why gratitude has become one of the most important values in my life. Every day that I wake up healthy enough to enjoy these simple blessings is a day worth celebrating.
Although my mother was Chinese and my father was Sikh, the Sikh principle of sewa—selfless service to humanity as service to God—has profoundly shaped the way I try to live. Serving others has brought me far greater fulfilment than pursuing personal recognition. Whether helping people in my community or working to protect Bukit Kiara, I have found that every act of kindness enriches not only the recipient but also the giver.
Looking back over seventy-seven years, I have also realised that a successful life cannot be measured merely by the titles we hold, the positions we occupy or the possessions we accumulate. These things may impress people for a while, but they do not define the true value of a life.
What endures is something much deeper.
It is our character when no one is watching. It is the kindness we have shown to those who could never repay us. It is the encouragement we have given to someone who was losing hope. It is the values we have lived by when life tested our integrity. Above all, it is the peace of mind we carry within ourselves and the knowledge that we have tried to make the world, in however small a way, a better place than we found it.
Today, there is an encouraging movement that describes active older people as “septolescents”—individuals who refuse to let age define or limit them. I like that description because it reminds us that growing older does not mean giving up on life.
But I believe we should aspire to something even greater.
Let us remain lifelong learners who continue to discover new knowledge and new ideas. Let us remain lifelong contributors who continue to serve our families, communities and society in whatever way we can. Let us remain lifelong optimists who choose hope instead of despair, gratitude instead of complaints, and possibilities instead of limitations.
After all, growing older is inevitable. But growing wiser, kinder, more compassionate and more grateful is a choice that each of us can make every single day.
At 77, I still have dreams to pursue, more books to write, friendships to nurture and causes worth fighting for. Every new day is another opportunity to learn something new, to encourage someone else, to make a difference, however small, and to count my blessings.
If life has taught me one enduring lesson, it is this: happiness is not something waiting for us at the end of the journey. It is created every day by the choices we make, the discipline we practise, the gratitude we cultivate, the people we love and the service we render to others.
For me, that is what it truly means to be winning at life.
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Dr Pola Singh, who retired as Maritime Institute of Malaysia director-general in 2011, is also the author of ‘Uphill — The Journey of a Sikh-Chinese Kampung Boy’
RELATED STORY:
Ram Kaur: The Chinese girl who became the heart of a Panjabi family (Asia Samachar, 18 June 2026)
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