Five-point summary of the article:

1. The Oxford interfaith summit helped Manjit Kaur confront her own assumptions and deepen her understanding of sexuality, faith, and compassion.
2. She reflects on the silence and prejudice toward LGBT+ people within Punjabi Sikh culture, rooted in taboo and patriarchal attitudes.
3. Hearing real stories of pain, rejection, and resilience from LGBT+ people of faith moved her to recognise the urgent need for empathy and change.
4. She calls on Sikh leaders and families to support LGBT+ individuals, emphasising that diversity is natural and aligned with Sikh principles of equality.
5. She concludes that confronting hate is a moral duty and commits to breaking the silence and advocating for LGBT+ dignity and rights.

By Manjit Kaur | Opinion |

Earlier this year, I had the profound honour of spending a week at Regent’s Park College, Oxford University, attending the ‘Global Interfaith Commission on LGBT+ Lives’ summer residential symposium. The Global Interfaith Commission on LGBT+ Lives, launched in 2020 with the support of the UK Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office , was founded by the Ozanne Foundation. The faith leadership initiative was launched in 2024 with the expressed aim to bring influential members from all religious traditions from across the world to engage in open, honest dialogue about sexuality and gender.

Faith ‘leaders’ from all the different religions from across the world were invited to face some of the most complex and sensitive questions of our time: how can religious communities embrace and affirm LGBT+ people while remaining true to their faith? The programme offered a confidential space for participants to learn from leading academics from various fields about the nature of human sexuality and how myths and misconceptions have and are impacting on the human experience in negative ways.

For me, a Sikh woman raised in Britain’s Punjabi community, this experience was transformative. It was not just an academic exercise but a deeply personal journey into empathy, honesty and the moral responsibilities that faith leadership has in addressing this issue and our failings to do so. This short piece, as well as offering my personal reflections, also seeks to be a challenge the whole Sikh community, but especially those in leadership roles to take the issue of LGTB + human rights more seriously.

Breaking the Silence

Engaging with global perspectives was enlightening, but it also forced me to confront some painful truths closer to home: my own community’s silence on the rights and needs of LGTB + people.

In Punjabi Sikh culture, feudal and patriarchal attitudes still linger. Talking about sexuality remains a taboo in most Sikh spaces. Growing up, I heard homosexuality spoken of in whispered tones, often in cruel or insulting language. The subject was swept under the carpet, as though pretending it didn’t exist would make it go away.

As a child, I couldn’t comprehend the hostility I sometimes saw LGBT+ people treated as “odd,” “dirty,” or somehow “less than human.” I had no vocabulary to challenge it. In school, and even within my community, the topic was avoided entirely. That silence shaped my understanding. This led me to grow up believing that being lesbian or gay was not normal and that it represented sinful behaviour and bad choices.

Even as I prepared to attend the Oxford summit, I felt nervous. Would people in my community misunderstand my intentions? Would they see my participation as controversial? Yet, beneath that fear was a stronger determination to listen, to learn, and to bridge divides. Because silence, I have realised, helps no one.

Seeing Humanity First

Thankfully, my nerves soon disappeared as we progressed through each presentation and the small group work which provided a really space to explore our own thoughts and feelings. Through the dialogue, not only did I learn some many new things about the issue of human sexuality, but also the challenges and positive change from all the different faith perspectives.

The Oxford summit gave me the space and courage to truly listen. It reminded me of a training session I attended years ago, where a participant was an openly lesbian woman. At the time, I felt uneasy, shaped by prejudices I didn’t even realise I held. But as the day went on, I saw that she was just like anyone else: kind, loving and deeply human. That small moment planted a seed in my heart, and the Oxford experience helped it grow.

At the symposium, we heard first-hand stories from LGBT+ people of faith from across the world. They spoke of rejection, of being told they could “reverse” who they were, of being exiled from their families and communities. We also heard stories of love and acceptance and reminders that compassion can change everything.

In hearing some of the painful stories of rejection and worse, I felt tearful and ashamed of how our communities can treat people, often their own close family members, in such a cruel way. How narrow-minded have we become? We need to change.

These were not just academic debates about belief; they were real human stories of suffering in silence. And once you see in someone’s eyes their pain, their commitment to faith and their need to belong and right to exist without fear, it becomes impossible to remain neutral and not to be moved.

Faith, Family, and the Future

In 2025, though much of the legislation has changed and technically LGTB + people have their rights protected, in truth many within the Sikh community (and others) still struggle to accept difference. We speak of unity and equality, yet we often fail to practise them. We still label people as “outsiders,” “deviant” or “wrong” because they do not conform to labels.

But the world is changing. Our children are growing up in a global, diverse, interconnected world. Many young Sikhs, like young people everywhere, are far more open-minded. They know that love is love. The question is: will we, as parents, elders and faith leaders, support them or shame them? And sadly, given the much higher levels of self-harm and even suicide, especially amongst young LGTB + people, we need to realise this is not just about human dignity, but life and death!

Instead of acting with care and concern, we end up asking “Is this right or wrong?” But perhaps we should ask, “Would I reject my own child for simply being who they are?”

No one chooses their sexuality; all the research points to this being part of human nature, and this is reflected across the animal kingdom. Nobody choses who they love. No one should live in fear or hide who they are. We, as a community, have the power to make that fear disappear, not with grand declarations, but with simple words: “It’s okay. I’m here for you.”

I am deeply proud of the LGBT+ Sikhs who continue to serve their communities with dignity and faith, some of whom I met during the Oxford summit. Their courage to live truthfully, while trusting in God, inspires me. This is not “evil.” This is not “dirty.” It is human life … and it is sacred.

From Reflection to Action

One of the conditions of participating in the Oxford symposium was that, as a community opinion former, I would use what I had learned to create positive change. Now, I am determined to be more proactive: to speak publicly, to open dialogue and to challenge silence.

Human sexuality is not simply a black and white phenomenon. For sure most people will come to adopt a heterosexual life, but we must acknowledge that, according to current research, as many as 10% of Sikhs will be LGTB +, a figure reflected globally across humanity. That is not a “fringe.” It is part of who we are. If we as Sikhs of the Guru truly believe what we ask for in our daily prayer, namely, “sarbat da bhalla” or “prosperity and blessings for all”, then it must include everyone, not just those who fit a narrow definition of what might be regarded as ‘normal’.

When it comes to human diversity, there is no normal. All human beings, male or female, gay or straight, were created by the divine creative force (God). We all belong to the same species and therefore, in one sense, we are all biologically the same in that we are distinct from other animals. But we all different, each human being on this planet is both physically and emotionally unique, and some those unique differences change over time as we develop as human beings, from childhood, to adult hood and eventually old age.

Writing this article is my first step. I know criticism may come. But truth requires courage. Silence is no longer an option.

The Moral Duty to Confront Hate

Hate is among the most destructive of human emotions. It poisons not only relationships and communities, but also the very soul of those who allow hate to shape their lives. Thankfully, in my experience most people are not hateful; they are simply misinformed, fearful or trapped in cultural conditioning.

Our duty, as faith leaders and as human beings, is to confront hate wherever it arises but to do so with compassion. Victims of hate need solidarity; perpetrators also need help in the form of education and empathy. But we must never allow the small minority who spread hate to silence the majority who prefer the path of love.

While Punjabi culture reflects the context of its times on a whole range of matters, because our Guru chose to confront hateful and discriminatory practices, Gurbani offers a vision of acceptance and love. It speaks of equality, of the divine presence in all beings, and of unconditional love. These teachings leave no room for discrimination. From this foundation, I feel completely justified and duty bound to stand for the rights of LGBT+ people to live free from fear and oppression, and to live with dignity.

Manjit Kaur, is a presenter at Britain-based Panjab Broadcasting Channel and a columnist for Asia Samachar. She can be contacted via email at manjitkaur1show@gmail.com

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