By Jagdesh Singh | Opinion |
I’ve been swiping clear to the left, and even up, whenever I see the picture on my social feeds. As if the story would disappear and it would all be quickly forgotten. But it kept appearing every hour or so.
I hide away from the story out of fear. Fear of what, I don’t exactly know. More instinctive than anything else, I suppose, is the fear that this could happen to my family, just as it happened to his.
At the heart of it, this is about a young man barely older than my eldest girl, who took a gravely dangerous wrong turn in his life and now faces consequences that could literally end his young life. His background, race, religion and family don’t matter much in this simple context.
But his background did matter to me. He was a familiar face within the circles my daughters socialise in. He was always respectful to me whenever we met at some function, always with a smile, and he exhibited the character of a young, hard-working man with a bright future ahead of him.
Much like the young man who stabbed Henry Nowak in the south of England, this one has shaken the Sikh community in Malaysia to the core, just as it shook our brothers and sisters in the UK. It will reverberate across all ages of our community for years to come.
Let me be clear: I do not condone the alleged crime. Drug trafficking destroys lives. We are left guessing as to what happened and why it happened. Immaturity, greed or impatience? I was young once, and I know we didn’t really think things through. We pursued some foolhardy ideas despite unsolicited advice from our elders.
I do question my role in our society. What can we do to prevent our youth from making such grave mistakes? I consider myself an elder to these young adults, having been very actively involved in running Sikh youth camps in Malaysia. I had always hoped, and still do, that they would approach me and my cohorts whenever they needed advice and guidance, and that we would have a chance to steer them away from potential pitfalls.
I won’t be surprised if some youth in our midst resort to illegal activities for monetary gain or simply to get attention. We, the elders, can help remedy that. You may argue that some youth facing similar shortcomings survive this harsh world in more respectable ways. You’re right. Yet some do fall through the cracks. My question is: have we allowed those cracks to exist?
The thought that something could’ve been done by us elders nags me every now and then.
As a parent, I wonder whether my children are also at risk of facing similar shortcomings. Could they falter in their decision-making and trap themselves in similar situations? Are they being heard when they cry for help? I can wholeheartedly say that our youth camps have always focused on religious preaching but have lacked the capability to truly listen to the children we’re so boldly preaching to.
We don’t listen to the problems they go through, I feel.
We assume every household in our society takes care of its children the way we take care of ours. But when issues such as alcoholism, drug abuse, sexual abuse, taboos surrounding sexual orientation, poverty, physical and emotional bullying, mental health struggles, and much more are experienced by our children, we remain unaware because we don’t give them an avenue, built on trust, to make us aware.
We are not a poor society. The majority of us are upstanding citizens and materially successful. Pooling our resources is never a problem, as evidenced by the lavish functions many of our gurdwaras and institutions organise. Perhaps some of those resources and contributions can be put to better use by improving our ability to counsel troubled youth. I’m not advocating any particular solution because even I’m at a loss as to how to achieve this. I’m merely raising questions for us all to think about. We should want zero young people falling through the cracks after this.
We owe it to our youth.
Swiping left and ignoring it is not an option.
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Jagdesh Singh, a Kuala Lumpur-based executive with a US multinational company, is a father of three girls who are as opinionated as their mother
* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.
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