By Jagdesh Singh | Opinion |
Many years ago, when my daughters were much younger, I wrote in Asia Samachar about our fears of religious conversion — particularly my own concerns about the possibility of my daughters converting to Islam in order to marry Muslims, as required in Malaysia.
Panjabi Sikh elders have placed fear in my generation on conversion to another religion. Muslim converts, especially the willing ones, were demonized, taunted that they should have known better. The fear wasn’t as intense for Christian converts for some reason. My theory, from a young age, is that we’ve been fed the horrors of the Mughal empire hunting down our ancestors during the time of our Gurus (and thereafter). Drawings of crying mothers being ‘adorned’ on their necks with limbs of their children hung on gurdwara walls or places of worship. The trauma of our ancestors was ingrained subconsciously like some muscle memory. We were made wary of Muslims in general. But that’s just my theory.
What I do know, now that I’ve socialized more with my Muslim friends and been around the block, is that for the hardliner Muslims and Christians, it’s always been about the numbers game. These two faiths are encouraged to lead ‘non-believers’ onto the path of heaven. It’s no wonder they boast the largest of followers and believers. With Malay Muslims being the majority of the population in Malaysia, chances of us falling for a Muslim girl or boy are pretty high. Who are we to stand in the way of love? Being in a majority, there’s also a higher chance of accepting offered economic resources. Poverty can motivate families to accept shelter and assistance while embracing a new religion.
The fear factor kept my generation trying their best to avoid conversion. We weren’t successful. I personally know of close family members who have chosen a different path than us. I suppose it was inevitable, statistically living in a Muslim majority, that a percentage of us would convert. The fear factor is also evident if our children were to convert. Much like the generation before us, we too are trying our very best to relay this fear onto them.
To be honest, I’m not sure if this fear factor would work on our children. This generation tends to question more and tries to understand deeper the intrinsic motivation. Their hypocrisy-meter is far more sensitive than ours. If we can’t explain the beauty of the spirituality of our Gurus’ teachings to them and instead push the dogmatic rigors to them, then we’ve lost them to their reasoning powers. If the question “What difference is Sikhi to Islam when…?” comes up in our conversation with them, we’re going to struggle uphill.
My better half and myself decided to change our strategy. Instead of fear mongering, we pivoted to making them love the teachings of our Guru more as something spiritual and less dogmatic.
Going back to the basics. Our Gurus’ teachings have fundamentals that are progressive and liberal in thought. Equality amongst races and gender, service to all mankind, upholding truth and justice, practicing a healthy clean life, earning an honest living, contributing to all of society as a householder. These are the fundamentals that they can relate to and are the differentiating attributes of a Sikh that aren’t just lofty ideals but realistic aspirations to be as a human for all ages.
Instead of fear, we decided love was a more powerful motivation. The challenge for us as parents was to practice what we preach. And that’s not easy, mind you. Because for us, it was never about the numbers game. It was a game of love.
Jagdesh Singh, a Kuala Lumpur-based executive with a US multinational company, is a father of three girls who are as opinionated as their mother
* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.
RELATED STORY:
What makes a hero? (Asia Samachar, 2 August 2026)
ASIA SAMACHAR is an online newspaper for Sikhs / Punjabis in Southeast Asia and beyond. You can leave your comments at our website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We will delete comments we deem offensive or potentially libelous. You can reach us via WhatsApp +6017-335-1399 or email: asia.samachar@gmail.com. For obituary announcements, click here
