Remind ourselves that we are blessed

We had lost sight of the big picture. We had completely taken for granted the more important things in life, like our daughters being healthy, caring, intelligent, strong willed girls - Jagdesh Singh


By Jagdesh Singh | Opinion

“We have been blessed. We still are being blessed.”, I reminded my better half. But it was more of a reminder to myself.

Our eldest daughter put up a brave front as she told us she wasn’t sad for not being selected into the Malaysian national football team to compete in a tournament in Indonesia. Both the parents were disappointed and it was apparent to her. She would miss out this time around. She had just got back from Hong Kong donning the yellow Tiger jersey.

The reminder for me and my wife came after a tumultuous few days where we seemed desperate for her to continue with her good fortunes to play for pride and country. We knew we were desperate because we were exhibiting the ugly worse sides of our selves.

We all know what these ugly reflections of ourselves look like. These are borne from being competitive.

Competitiveness comes from comparing ourselves with others and not looking at ourselves from within. Questions like “Why aren’t you as tough as the other?” Or “Why don’t you want it as bad as the other?” come out without abandon. They come when, in the big scheme of things, these questions themselves don’t really matter.

These questions are never ever asked when it was at the beginning of the journey. When our daughters were beginners, they jumped right into football because for the fun of learning. When they got better and more serious, it was still for the fun of bettering themselves. And we, the parents, just enjoyed going with the flow.

But at some point, a threshold is passed, and like a ghostly stranger in the night of a horror movie scene, the competitiveness crept in and snuggled comfortably along side our egos. Familiar bedfellows.

And it rears it’s ugly demonic head when you lose to the competition. When she didn’t make it, we were disappointed and sad, slightly enraged, even shocked.

The reminder of us being blessed was us taking a step back and taking stock of what had happened. We had lost sight of the big picture. We had completely taken for granted the more important things in life, like our daughters being healthy, caring, intelligent, strong willed girls. We had forgotten that time is always on their side, and that life was still an opened book for them to chart out other adventures and experiences for themselves. We had lost ourselves from being grateful for all that we’ve got thus far.

And to be brutally honest to ourselves, we had minimal or no control over their life journeys thus far. I’m utterly convinced that our daughters were guided and are still being guided by higher powers that be. Call it fate. Call it karma. Call it whatever you want, what we’ve experienced so far has been magical. This is true for any parent and their children. To see your child grow beyond their potential in any facets of life is magical. From being a kind hearted human, to being an intelligent student, to being a spiritual wise person, to being another parent, to see your child grow is magical.

And this is why we are blessed. And continue to be so. We just need to remind ourselves often enough.

Jagdesh Singh, a Kuala Lumpur-based executive with a US multinational company, is a father of three girls who are as opinionated as their mother

* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.


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