Dear Haters

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1983

| Opinion | 20 Aug 2016 | Asia Samachar |

 

By Harvin Kaur Deol

Hey guys,

It’s been sometime since I got back to my writing. My last note was on the traditional wedding chura (if you guys haven’t read it please do…promise you will learn something new) and I guess I find myself writing especially when I get some sort of inspiration for it.

I think my title might have aroused your curiosity (if it didn’t I blame my lack of creativity, lol).

Today, I want to write something that has caught my attention for far too long. Haters! Everyone has them; anyone secretly can be one of them; and one who has to deal with them. We all have experienced them one way or another. I came across a very good written piece on this concept and I thought might as well share with all of you. Never know who might learn from it or who might feel a little better knowing that there are so many people out there who similarly experience them.

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Ha, Haters! Who are they? Why do they exist? How to deal with them? Why do you hate? Why are you the one being hated? So forth. Every now and then we might have thought about some of these questions. You constantly ask why me? Well, I am going to share with you from an educational perspective, more so a psychological one and tell you that they do exist anywhere and everywhere and anyone can be of a target.

As God fearing people, we are to always be humble and never brag about anything, but there are some people without you even bragging who might be jealous of your achievements. Hating and bitterness is a sin and can be brought on by getting a new job or promotion, buying a new house, buying a new car, relationships, and even something like giving to charity can bring haters.

There are four types of haters. There are the ones who criticize you and find a fault for everything you do out of jealousy. The ones who try to make you look bad in front of others.

The ones who purposely bring you down so you won’t succeed instead of helping you, and there are the haters who hate behind your back and destroy your good name with slander.

Reasons people hate:

  • You have something that they don’t.
  • They need to put you down to feel good about themselves.
  • They want to be the center of attention.
  • They are bitter about something.
  • They lose sight of contentment.
  • They stop counting their blessings and start counting the blessings of others.

Most of the time haters are the closest people to you.

Many a times, haters hate for no reason. Yes, no apparent reason. You may not even know the person, but you constantly get this feeling of being despised. When hating doesn’t work, haters start telling lies. They start living a delusional belief that they create in their little minds and go around proving that their illusion is reality. Don’t be envious of people who do wrong. Dealing with them is often a challenging task. Like the Romans say, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them”. The only way to deal with them is by living a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered and your name is brought to mud, those who revile your good behavior, by God’s grace, may be put to shame.

From Sikhism perspective, it is fundamental to know and understand that hating and jealousy are the traits that those who possess suffer in pain the most. Ninda (Critizing), chugli (gossiping), jhoothtefareb (lies and deceit) are often mentioned in the Guru Granth Sahib. Guruji tells us one who is jealous or envious of others feels painful and resentful at their betterment; and feels happy when some miseries befall on them. The person feels happy when he obtains success but feels miserable when he sees some other person gains the same. This emotional tug-of-war in the mind brings anguish.

The only way to break free from this misery of being a hater is by living a kind and honest life. The constant thought of death should haunt you and you must remember that everything on this earth, everything that you have created for yourself or for your loved ones, is going to be left behind. The only thing you will face at the time of your death would be the replay of the kindness that you have earned in this life.

Remember without prayer, without a kind heart and soul, without a good conscience, without belief, without an honest life; your death is going to be like the hot fire of hell, for no one can save you but the good words and prayers you gain along the way. Let death be a reminder and may we constantly think of an end. This fear will ensure us to think twice before hating on others and harboring this ill feeling. May Baba Nanak save us from this misery.

 

Malaysian-born Harvin Kaur Deol is a former English teacher, who now lives in Los Angeles, California. She writes for passion and this is her second article for Asia Samachar.

 

 

[ASIA SAMACHAR is an online newspaper for Sikhs in Southeast Asia and surrounding countries. We have a Facebook page, do give it a LIKE. Follow us on Twitter. Visit our website: www.asiasamachar.com]

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