By Inderjeet Singh Gakhal | Opinion |
THEN:
The wedding of a daughter of the village was a community affair. Simplicity was the key. The barat came on horses, camels or cattle drawn carts. Stayed over night, were housed in a community centre with a shady court yard. Here, the community stepped forward. Cots and beddings were pooled in. Young men to serve the barat came forward. The horses, camels and draught animals were distributed among families for feeding watering and a rub down. Each family provided its share of cereals, ghee, Vegetables and milk for the entire wedding.
After all it was the wedding of” Pind de Dhee“.
There was no liquor rarely meat. Till the Barat left, community service continued. The barat always ate first and others later. They sat on mats in lines and were served. The menu was simple, jalebis/laddus, rice zarda ( sweet yellow rice), dal, sabji, curd and roti. No frills.
The focus was on the “Anand Karaj”attended by all at the village Gurdwara. The Doli was in a two seater decorative cart, drawn by a hansome pair of best bullocks, draped with Phulkari (embroidered cloth cover). The Doli cart canopy of Phulkari. The entire village walked the barat till the village limit. Such simplicity. The expenditure minimum.
NOW:
It’s all too impersonal, the banquet hall weddings. The events/functions have multiplied many fold; sagan, chunni chadai, bhog, engagement/ring ceremony, varna, mehndi sangeet, anand karaj and reception.
It’s a caterer’s delight. The menu is elaborate, with two to three cuisines every possible kind of meat and liquor. The bar planning is a major protocol these days. The focus has shifted from the vows at Anand Karaj to the banquet hall decor and much else. Fashion and jwellery are the main attraction. Very close relatives attend the vows, other hit the bar and food stalls. It’s a day out at best. The Barat is one-day affair, and no differentiation between them and others. It’s first come first serve at the venue catering. Every thing is impersonal. No community involvement in “Pind dee Dhee” anymore.
The community elders need to reverse these trend to bring the community bonding back into focus. Far too many elders are under financial stress when marrying their daughters, this leads to many a suicide. Urgent intervention is called far.
Brigadier Inderjeet Singh Gakhal (Retd) ​was commissioned into 1 Sikh. He served as Comdt Sikh Regt Centre, commanded a Battalion in Op Rakshak, raised & operationalised a RR sector in J&K where he was wounded. This article was picked up from his Facebook entry, @injogakhal.
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