By Dr Pola Singh | Malaysia |
I recently encountered a small but profound gesture in the obituary of the wife of the late Malaysian Sikh icon/businessman – Puan Sri Datin Harwant Kaur – that stopped me in my tracks. She had lived a full 100 years. Listed alongside the grieving family were three names: Lin, Lina and Lilly. They were the deceased’s caregivers. This public acknowledgment — treating these individuals not as “staff,” but as integral members of the family circle — is a refreshing and long-overdue shift in our societal values.
For too long, caregivers have remained a “forgotten category” of workers. They are the silent pillars who navigate the long, lonely hours of the night, manage complex medication schedules, and provide the physical strength required for mobility. Beyond these tasks, they often become the quiet targets of the frustration and temper that can surface when a loved one is in pain. They absorb the noise and the anger, offering only patience and steady hands in return.
I see this same quiet heroism in Room 317 of a dear friend at a hospital in Kuala Lumpur. Mrs. J, the wife of 93-year-old Mr. Jagjeet Singh, has lived by his bedside for nearly a month. She sleeps on a small bed beside him, remaining available 24 hours a day. Though the fatigue is etched on her face, she soldiers on with a resilience that is as humbling as it is heartbreaking. Her journey is a living testament to the immense mental and physical toll this role takes—a toll often paid in silence, without the protection of defined scopes of work or basic benefits like EPF contributions.
As Malaysia moves rapidly toward becoming an ageing society, our need for dedicated caregivers will only grow. If we wish to encourage more Malaysians to take up this noble calling, we must change how we treat them. These “small” efforts — giving them due credit in public tributes and treating them with the dignity of a family member — provide the vital impetus and motivation needed for others to consider this path.
When a family inserts a caregiver’s name into an obituary, they are acknowledging a sacred truth: that the dignity of the departed was preserved by these tireless individuals. It is time our healthcare system and our hearts catch up. We owe it to the Lins, the Linas, the Lillys, and the Mrs. Js of our nation to ensure they are seen, valued, and protected. They are not merely “hired help”; they are the heart of the home.
Dr Pola Singh, who retired as Maritime Institute of Malaysia director-general in 2011, is also the author of ‘Uphill — The Journey of a Sikh-Chinese Kampung Boy’
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ASIA SAMACHAR is an online newspaper for Sikhs / Punjabis in Southeast Asia and beyond. You can leave your comments at our website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We will delete comments we deem offensive or potentially libelous. You can reach us via WhatsApp +6017-335-1399 or email: asia.samachar@gmail.com. For obituary announcements, click here
Awww I am indeed humbled and touched. How not to serve a man you married and lived together for 62 years long.. It was my delight to do this but tough!
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