End-of-life dreams and visions: Hallucinations or reality?

Issues of life and death are never straight forward. They are filled with powerful emotions and all types of beliefs.

The recent article on death by Dr Karminder Singh Dhillon received a response from a reader (see below) raising some issues. The response is from an educated and a genuine Sikh seeker. He writes (names & years changed to conceal identity):

My personal encounter with dying people. Doctors and neurologists would say that it is hallucination:

1. In 1972 my father B Singh died of cancer. Three days before he died, he talked to unseen presence. My Pua Ji asked him what he was talking about. He said he was talking to a number of people whose names he mentioned. They were people who have died, including his parents. Guruji vi ethey aa (Guru Ji is also here), he said.

2. In 1982, my brother C in law died shortly after a road accident. He was hospitalised for internal injuries. His liver and spleen had been removed. His whole body was turning red. He was struggling in pain. The doctor had closed the curtain and asked everyone to stay outside. C shouted and called everyone back. “I m going to die! Come quick! They are here already! They are taking me along,” he said. He died 30 minutes later.

3. 1n 1996, my sister D Kaur died of cancer. A week before, she had a conversation with the unseen. When asked she said she was talking with her late brother and mother.

4. In 1988, my father in law died of liver chirrosis. A day before he died, he was talking to an unseen presence. My mother-in-law who caring for him became frightened. The next day, in the presence of the family, he asked everyone to make way for the “visitors” who are coming to take him away. Several hours later, he died.

Hallucinations or reality!?

We had shared the above letter with Dr Karminder Singh for a response. He responded with some thoughts. See below.

By Karminder Singh Dhillon | OPINION | 

End-of-life dreams and visions are accepted by the medical community as part of the dying experience. Hospice doctors and palliative nurses have conducted numerous studies on this matter and the general consensus is that people dream of loved ones who are already deceased and have visions of them. The hospice community considers these dreams and visions as comforting.

The question that needs answering is if these dreams and vision are a portrayal of objective reality pertaining to what really happens to us during death?

We know that dreams are not reality. That is why they are called dreams. Dreams can be an expression of our self-created realities. Dreams can be manifestations of long held beliefs. Dreams can be expressions of thoughts embedded deep within our sub-conscious mind. Dreams can reflect what is held within our psyches.

The general belief is that we have dreams during certain phases of sleep when the conscious mind is not in a position to supress the sub-conscious mind. Beliefs, thoughts, fears, anxieties, worries, etc that are held deep within our subconscious mind come into expression during this phase of sleep as dreams.

For example, while preparing for an important exam I was deeply aware that I had not done sufficient preparation. My conscious mind kept assuring me that I will do just fine by telling me: you have passed tougher exams before, other people can do it, it’s not a big deal, you are intelligent, etc, etc. But my subconscious mind held my fears and anxieties. These fears manifested themselves during deep sleep when my conscious mind could not supress my subconscious mind. My dreams in the days leading to the exam were that I had gone to the wrong location, I had overslept, I arrived at the exam hall when everyone was going home, I found myself in the exam hall without the proper attire, etc.

BEING HUMAN AND HAVING THOUGHTS

An Urdu saying expresses the link between being human and having thoughts. Insan Jisey Kehtay Hai Voh Khayalon Ka Mujashima Hota Hai. The entity that we call human is but a conglomeration of thoughts. The Punjabi version is Jaisee Dhristee, Vaisi Shrishtee. We see the world through our thoughts.

The Gurbani version is Jo Bhramandey Soi Pindey. The Universe that we see out there is the outcome of the perception of our bodily senses.

Thoughts become our beliefs. Beliefs become our doctrines. Doctrines become our dogmas. Dogmas become our psyches. Our beliefs become our universe. And we become our beliefs. Jo Bhramandey Soi Pindey.

MARY’S END-OF-LIFE DREAMS

When Mary was a child, her grandparents passed. She was told they were in heaven and smiling down on her. When her pet dog died, she was told he was “with her grandparents.” When other elders in her family passed on, the narrative was repeated. The narrative became her beliefs. And eventually embedded itself deep within her psyche.

When it was Mary’s turn to die, she was surrounded by friends, relatives and hospice workers. She passed in an out of consciousness. When someone sat beside her and talked to her she spoke of her dreams she was having – of the good times she had with her grandparents and others. She spoke of dreams of her pet. At times she spoke of them coming to talk to her.

END OF LIFE DREAMS OF OUR LOCAL GRANTHI

Thirty-five years ago my mother took me to visit our local granthi who lay dying of old age at University Hospital Petaling Jaya. He was a close family friend and a middle man for my elder brother’s marriage. He was asleep when we reached his bedside. His hair scattered. My mother asked the nurses for some hair oil, rubbed it into his hair and used her own kangha to comb his hair and tie a tiny little joora. I held up his head to make it easy for my mother.

He woke up. Or perhaps he didn’t. Maybe he was half awake. But we heard him speak. “She came.” He mentioned a name.  Then after a pause. “She brought food.” Another pause. “I told her I am not hungry.” And then “She wants to take me home.” Then “She said Baba ji was waiting.” He went silent. We sat for a few more minutes, held his hand, wished him the best and started to leave. He looked at us. I am sure I saw a smile on him.

On the way home in the car, my mother told me he was talking of his deceased wife.

END-OF-LIFE DREAMS IN THE OLD CANVAS

Texts related to the 4,000 year-old canvas have a story of a Brahmin clergy helping a Bania caste (businessman) man interpret dreams the latter was having on his death bed. The dream was recurring and it involved a crow sitting at the edge of his bed, getting closer in each dream, preparing to peck at the flesh of the Bania. The Brahmin told the Bania that some time ago he had loaned money to a Brahmin who was unable to pay it back. The Bania had then collected “his pound of flesh” from the Brahmin in a most merciless way, causing the Brahmin’s misery and eventual death. The crow was the deceased Brahmin who had come back to collect “his pound of flesh.” One can rest assured the crow never left the Bania’s dreams.

WHAT IS THE ROLE OF GURBANI IN ALL THIS?

Gurbani provides us with a conglomeration of profound messages.  These messages have embedded themselves within my mind to become my beliefs. These beliefs have become my doctrines.  In summary, the messages of Gurbani have become my universe. Gurbani’ messages have become my Khyalon Ka Mujashima. They have become my Shrishtee. Gurbani has become my psyche.

Gurbani has instilled in me that death is the RETURN to our origins. Pavney Meh Pavan Smaya. Gurbani tells me that my physical elements will RETURN to their original elements. Matee Matee Hoyi Eyk. Gurbani tells me that my Jyot will RETURN to the Complete Jyot. Jyoti Meh Jyot Rul Jaya. The RETURN to elements means I will become NOTHING. The RETURN to the Complete Jyot means I become EVERYTHING. That is because the Complete Jyot is EVERYTHING. Jeh tay Upjeyo Nanaka, Leen Tahey Meh Maan.

This is my resultant psyche.  It’s the psyche that the messages of Gurbani created for me related to death.

WHEN ITS MY TURN TO DIE

IF my death will come in a way that allows me the luxury of end-of-life-dreams.  And IF it will allow me the luxury of others to bear witness to my narratives. And IF there is still some amount of coherency left in my accounts. And IF someone is willing to make sense of them. My narratives will probably be to the effect of “I am RETURNING.”  Or “I dreamt I was descending into NOTHINGNESS.”  Or “ I dreamt I am becoming a part of EVERYTHING.” Or “I am becoming COMPLETELY NOTHING and COMPLETELY EVERYTHING.” Words to these effect.

I know I will not have “visions” of my beloved parents, elder brother and elder sister coming to take me. Because the psyche that Gurbani created for me tells me they have all RETURNED to NOTHINGNESS and RETURNED to EVERYTHING.

You see, pyareo, Gurbani liberates. It frees us from the fears and anxieties relating to death that have been imposed upon us by our clergy, culture, society as well as our own beliefs. As a result, we are also liberated in our process of dying. As human beings gifted with an intellect we of course have the choice of wanting to construct our psyches that will determine our dying experiences to be that of Mary, of the local granthi, the bania, or any other of our own volition.

As Sikhs of the messages of Gurbani we are blessed with making these messages part of our psyche.  The greatest blessing is to live life as a Sikh of Gurbani’s messages. It’s an equally great blessing to experience dying as a Sikh of Gurbani’s messages.

Sikh thinker, writer and parcharak Karminder Singh Dhillon, PhD (Boston), is a retired Malaysian civil servant. He is the joint-editor of The Sikh Bulletin and author of The Hijacking of Sikhi. He can be contacted at dhillon99@gmail.com. 

* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.

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